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10 Signs Your Child Is Highly Sensitive & Practical Parenting Tips
- Happy Kids Win
- Oct 10, 2024
- 11 min read
Ways to Parent a Highly Sensitive Child
If you’re saying, “My child gets upset about everything,” or you notice your son or daughter is very sensitive and emotional, you’re not alone. Many parents find themselves walking on eggshells, trying to understand why their child gets so upset over what seems like small things. It’s like your little one is a sponge, soaking up every feeling around them. For example, if your five-year-old can't connect their Lego building blocks, they might say things like, “I can’t do it! It’s too hard!” or “Why won’t these pieces work?!” or even burst into tears saying, “Everything I do is wrong!” These words can break your heart, but they’re a sign of just how big their feelings are in that moment. Parenting a sensitive child is a journey, but it can be a beautiful one if we know the right steps to take.
What Causes a Sensitive Child?
A highly sensitive child isn’t just “too emotional.” Think of it as if they have “big feelings” sensors, like a superpower that makes them feel everything a bit deeper. Sometimes, this sensitivity comes from their biology. It’s like they were born with bigger antennas, always picking up on the smallest signals—a loud noise, a small change in routine, or even how others feel around them. Research by Dr. Megan Anna Neff with Neurodivergent Families has shown with her research that around 15-20% of children are born with a more sensitive nervous system, which makes them more reactive to their surroundings. This means they process sensory information more deeply, which can lead to intense emotional responses. It’s not something they choose; it’s simply the way their brains are wired. Studies also indicate that these children have heightened activity in the parts of the brain associated with empathy and emotional awareness.
Environmental factors can also play a significant role in shaping a child’s sensitivity. A lively or chaotic environment can be overwhelming for a sensitive child. If there’s a lot of noise, sudden changes, or high levels of stress, it can make their big feelings even bigger. Experiences like moving to a new home, a change in school, or even the arrival of a new sibling can add to their emotional load. Trauma or even small but consistent stressors can also make a child more sensitive over time. It’s important to remember that a child’s environment, including the way they are nurtured and supported, can either help them manage their sensitivity or make it more challenging.
Why Being Sensitive Is Not Bad
But here’s the important thing: being sensitive isn’t bad. Just like some flowers need more sunlight or gentle care, sensitive kids need a bit more attention in certain areas. These children often have a deep capacity for empathy. They can sense when someone else is upset or needs comfort, and this ability to tune into others' feelings can make them wonderful friends and compassionate individuals. It’s like they have a radar for emotions that helps them connect on a deeper level with those around them. Your child may possess this when they see a friend fall and cry on the playground and they go over to check on them and make sure they are ok.
Sensitive children also tend to have rich inner worlds. They notice details others might miss, whether it’s the beauty of a sunset, the subtle change in a friend’s mood, or the way a story unfolds. This attention to detail can foster creativity and a deep appreciation for art, nature, and storytelling. Think of it like having a high-definition lens on life—they see and feel the world vividly, which can lead to incredible creativity and insight.
This can lead them to be very thoughtful as well. They reflect deeply on experiences and are often careful with their actions and words. This trait can lead to a strong sense of morality and kindness.
10 Signs My Child Is Sensitive
If you’re wondering, “Is my child highly sensitive?” here are some clues:
They Cry or Get Upset Easily
Sensitive children often get upset or cry over what seems like small things. For example, if their block tower falls over, they may cry because they put so much effort into it, and it’s hard for them to see it fall apart.
They Don’t Like Loud Noises
Your child might cover their ears when the vacuum cleaner is on, or get upset when they hear a loud truck passing by. It’s like their ears are tuned up extra loud, making those sounds more overwhelming.
Bright Lights or Busy Places Upset Them
Bright lights in a shopping mall or a noisy birthday party might make them uncomfortable. They might say, “It’s too bright!” or “It’s too loud!” and want to leave quickly.
They Have Big Feelings When Plans Change
If you planned to go to the park but it starts raining, they may have a meltdown because they were really looking forward to it. Changes feel like a big deal, and they need time to adjust.
They Notice Small Details Others Miss
They may point out that a picture frame is slightly crooked or that someone is sad, even if others don’t notice. It’s like they have a magnifying glass for details, making them very observant.
They Are Easily Startled
Sudden noises, like a door slamming or someone shouting, might make them jump or start crying. They react quickly because their senses are always on high alert.
They Struggle with Clothing Textures
Tags on shirts or seams in socks might bother them. They may say, “This shirt is itchy!” or only like to wear a certain pair of socks because their skin feels everything more intensely.
They Are Hesitant/Need More Time to Warm Up in New Situations
At a new playground, they may hang back and observe before jumping in to play. They are like a cat checking out a new space, needing to feel safe before they dive in.
They Are Very Empathetic
If another child is crying, they may feel sad too and want to comfort them. It’s like their heart is connected to others, making them feel what others are feeling.
They Get Overwhelmed by Too Many Choices
If you ask them to pick a snack and give them ten options, they might get upset or freeze. Too many choices can feel like too much information to process at once, and they need simpler options.
It’s like your child has a magnifying glass that makes every feeling or experience super big and clear. Recognizing these signs can help you understand what they need to feel comfortable and secure.
Instead of seeing sensitivity as a weakness, it’s helpful to see it as a strength—a unique trait that, when nurtured, can help your child grow into a caring, creative, and insightful person. Although sensitive children can struggle more with intense feelings, they also have an incredible ability to experience joy, wonder, and connection. By understanding their sensitivity and giving them the tools to manage it, you’re not just helping them cope; you’re helping them thrive. Parents need to recognize that their child’s sensitivity is not a flaw, but a beautiful part of who they are. With patience and support, these children can learn to embrace their emotions, use their empathy to build strong relationships and find ways to channel their creativity in positive directions.
Building Confidence in a Sensitive Child
If your child is very sensitive and emotional, they might need extra help to feel confident. Here’s how you can support them:
Positive Affirmations
Praise their Effort
Help them Develop a Growth Mindset
Create Affirmation Activities
Model Positive Self-Talk
Help Them Manage Big Feelings
Use Positive Affirmations:
Positive affirmations are a powerful way to help a sensitive child build a growth mindset. Tell your child things like, “You are brave,” “You are capable,” or “You are strong.” It’s like planting seeds in their mind. The more they hear it, the more those seeds of confidence grow into sturdy trees. Repetition is key—hearing these positive statements regularly helps them internalize the belief that they can handle challenges. You can make this fun by creating a “positive affirmation jar” where they pull out a card each day with a positive statement to focus on.
Positive affirmations can be especially helpful when your child is facing a tough situation. For example, if they’re anxious about trying something new, remind them, “I can do hard things” or “It’s okay to make mistakes while learning.” These affirmations help them see challenges not as scary walls but as small hills they can climb. You’re helping them shift their perspective from fear of failure to embracing growth.
Pro Tip: Use a mirror! Have your child say affirmations while looking in the mirror. It’s a powerful way for them to connect with themselves and believe the words they are saying. They might feel a bit silly at first, but over time, it becomes a fun ritual that boosts their confidence.
Praise Their Effort:
When your child tries something hard, even if they don’t succeed, celebrate the effort. It’s like cheering them on during a race, no matter where they finish. This helps them see challenges as chances to grow, not just moments to win or lose. Emphasizing effort over outcomes teaches them that trying and learning are what matter most. For a sensitive child, this is crucial because they often take failures personally. By praising the journey—“I love how hard you worked on that!”—you help them understand that mistakes are part of learning.
Help Your Child Develop a Growth Mindset:
To build a growth mindset in your sensitive child, emphasize that abilities can grow with effort. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” say, “You worked really hard to figure that out.” This shifts their focus from being afraid to fail to being excited about trying. A growth mindset helps them feel more resilient when they face setbacks, making it easier for them to bounce back. For example, if they struggle to tie their shoes, say, “You are getting better each time you practice,” rather than focusing on how long it’s taking. This encourages persistence and reduces frustration.
Sensitive children often feel overwhelmed by mistakes, but teaching them to see those mistakes as opportunities helps them thrive. Remind them, “Every mistake is a step towards getting better.” Use stories of famous people who failed many times before succeeding—like how Thomas Edison found 1,000 ways not to make a lightbulb before finding the right way. These examples can inspire your child and show them that everyone has to work through challenges.
Create Affirmation Activities:
Incorporate affirmations into everyday activities. You could make a “confidence board” where your child adds sticky notes with positive affirmations about themselves. Encourage them to draw pictures of themselves doing something brave or kind, and add those to the board as well. This visual reminder helps reinforce their self-belief and makes them feel proud of their accomplishments. You could also use bedtime as an opportunity for affirmations—reflect on the day and say something positive about what they did well.
Model Positive Self-Talk:
Children learn a lot by watching their parents. Make sure to model positive self-talk for your child. When you make a mistake, say out loud, “That’s okay, everyone makes mistakes, and I can try again.” This demonstrates resilience and teaches them that it’s normal to encounter difficulties and keep going. If they see you handling setbacks positively, they’ll be more likely to do the same.
Pro Tip: Grab a copy of the FREE Positive Affirmation Toolkit above which has activities, positive affirmation cards, and a growth mindset journal to help build a child's self-worth and confidence.
Use Affirmations to Manage Big Emotions:
Sensitive children often feel emotions deeply, and affirmations can be a useful tool for managing those big feelings. For example, when your child is upset, guide them to use calming affirmations like, “I am safe,” or “I can handle this.” It’s like giving them a comforting hug in words. These affirmations help them regain a sense of control over their emotions and feel more at ease. Over time, they will start using these affirmations on their own when they feel overwhelmed, which is a big step towards emotional independence.
Building confidence in a sensitive child is about nurturing their inner strength. Positive affirmations are one of the simplest but most powerful tools you can use to help them see their own potential. By encouraging a growth mindset, celebrating effort, and using affirmations daily, you’re helping them develop a foundation of confidence that will support them throughout their lives.
7 Simple Ways to Parent a Sensitive Child
To assist you in building up your child and developing their growth mindset here are some simple ways to help parent a sensitive child. This doesn’t need to be overwhelming as these 4 practical tips can help your child feel safe and understood. This builds their confidence and helps them embrace their feelings.
Here are some ways to parent a sensitive child:
Validate Their Feelings
When your child is upset, imagine their feelings are like a storm cloud over their head. Instead of trying to make the cloud disappear right away, sit with them and say, “I see that you’re really upset right now, and that’s okay.” It’s like giving them an umbrella—you’re not fixing the rain, but you’re there with them until it passes.
Create a Safe Space
Sensitive children need a cozy corner where they feel secure—kind of like a turtle that needs its shell. Set up a “calm corner” at home. This could be a small spot with pillows, a soft blanket, and some favorite books or toys. This space can be their retreat when they need to recharge.
Teach Simple Coping Strategies
Help your child learn to handle their big feelings. Deep breathing is like blowing up a balloon—slow and steady. Teach them to take a deep breath in, then slowly let it out, just like they’re filling up and then letting go of a big balloon. This helps calm their body and mind.
Celebrate Their Strengths
Sensitive children often have amazing qualities, like empathy. Tell them that their big heart is a wonderful gift. For example, if they notice someone else feeling sad, praise them for caring. It’s like they have a superpower for noticing feelings, which can make them wonderful friends.
Set Routines
Children do best when they know what to expect. Having a routine is like having a roadmap. If they know bedtime always starts with a bath and a story, they’ll feel safe because they know what comes next.
Limit Overstimulation
Loud places or too much activity can make a sensitive child feel frazzled, like a phone with too many apps running at once. Give them quiet times during the day—a break where they can rest without too many noises or distractions.
Creating a Calm Environment
Sensitive children need a calm space, They need a chance to collect their thoughts and feelings without being bothered.
Pro Tip for Teachers: Have a special chair or spot in your students’ classroom for children to sit at when their emotions become too much. This is a safe place where no one can bother them and where they are free to sit while they compose themselves and their feelings without feeling threatened or judged.
When to Seek Extra Help
Sometimes, even with all your love and support, your child might need a little more help. Talking to a child therapist is like getting a coach for both you and your child—someone who knows extra tricks and tools to help them feel understood and comfortable. If your child’s sensitivity starts getting in the way of daily life, or they seem overwhelmed all the time, it might be a good idea to ask for this kind of help.
Seeking extra help doesn't mean you're failing as a parent—it means you're giving your child additional support to thrive. Child therapists can provide tailored strategies to help your child manage their emotions better. They use specialized techniques such as play therapy, which can be very effective for young children who may struggle to express their feelings verbally. Additionally, therapists can work with parents to develop consistent approaches at home, making sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to supporting the child.
Sometimes, working with a child psychologist or counselor can also help identify any underlying issues that might be contributing to their heightened sensitivity, such as anxiety or sensory processing challenges. A professional can provide a safe space for your child to talk about their feelings, which can be comforting, especially for children who feel misunderstood. If your child’s sensitivity is affecting their ability to interact with peers, participate in school activities, or enjoy daily routines, seeking professional help can make a significant difference in their overall happiness and well-being.
Embrace Your Child’s Sensitivity
Your highly sensitive child has so much to offer. Their big feelings are like the waves in an ocean—sometimes they’re calm, sometimes they’re stormy, but they are always beautiful. By validating their feelings, creating a supportive environment, and celebrating who they are, you’re helping them navigate life’s waves with strength and confidence.
Remember, every child is different, and there’s no perfect way to parent. Take it one day at a time, and remember—you are doing an amazing job.
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Kid-friendly, short positive affirmations designed to:
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